It was after church service that I went for a drink with a few of my ex-classmates. Sort of a small re-union gathering...

Conversations went from small talks & jokes & the routine Question ( got GF already or not?) to stories of working life. 4 of them graduated earlier, hence they are already working , leaving only me and another (also MMU graduate) without a job yet..

Listening to stories of working stress, endless interviews, low salary offers.. etc, I end up worrying about the whole thing.

Stress..Tension...

Many thoughts came flooding..

Could I get a job?
How much salary to expect especially when working outside of Malacca?
What to expect from interview sessions?
What common questions they ask in exams? -Yes, some company gives exams in subjective forms -
Working stress? Politics ?

-Boom-
*Head explodes*

Cant help but feeling the pressure...
Though I know I shouldn't worry
But facing the fear of many uncertainties...
And when I remind myself of my discouraging result,
I cant help but feeling dissapointed and screwed up,
Feeling inadequect and useless...

This is the time where I really need faith

Had a short YM chat with a friend..
Someone which I thought I had let go from this heart, afterall it's been 3 years
Why then...does my heart still takes a leap whenever you asked me 'How are you'?
I know we are cool being friends...and our conversation is no more than a casual updates on each other...
Why then do I still unconcously hoping a reply from you...?
Why do the past memories keeps barraging into my mind whenever I chat with you?
Why does this heart ever so slightly gives a thug whenever I received a sms from you?
And sometimes,it hurts more than it should

Sometimes it's so difficult to smile, hiding an emotional turmoil beneath...
Sometimes it's hard to pretend that I am fine although I am not..

And during this times,I know I can thank God for friends...
Friends that I had associated with during my walk in Uni Life
Friends who has unknowningly lifted me up, and blessed my heart
Just by hanging out with them..
Just by observing them, though not perfect but always striving to be like Him
Friends who openly share their thoughts and views about the more serious stuffs,which reminds me that I am not alone in having struggles and Questions in areas of my life..
Friends , each with different personalities...but have one common goal to strive to be more and more like Him...
I thank God for friends who can sincerely be there , and to have a good time of fellowship peppered with small talks and lame jokes.

And though I still bear emotional scars..
This is the one thing that I had always treasure and appreciate from my days in Uni..
For this, I Thank you...

Lord, You had always been there for me during those times of emotional dryness...
I can see your provision through this simple thing called 'Friendship'