Reality

Dear Heavenly Father,
Forgive me for not seeing You as my provider.
Help me to trust in You, to find my Rest in you.

Reality kicks in when I stepped out from my own comfort zone.Tonight,as a few of my church mates and I distributed food and basic sanitaries to the homeless people at the Penang back alleys,I'm again reminded of how fortunate I am in life.

This would be my 3rd time going,if recalled correctly, and each time I had come home feeling blessed.Today's no different,and this time though I had decided to penned down my thoughts into words.

These homeless people slept on the hard floor in the cold,surviving on what little belongings they have.
Apart from the free food, many are grateful that we stopped and sat by to have little chats with them. As they opened up to us, it is very interesting to hear many of their background stories.

I had particularly engaged conversation with one who was a hotel/club musician,ended up in prison for reasons he did not tell and now unemployed, disowned by his family members.
Yet another shared with me of how he served 4 years of prison time for smoking ganja and was in fact just released today. He is facing employment difficulty as he had lost his IC and the only self identification he had on him was a cruel reminder of an official police notification of his prison serving term.

Many radiates a similar trait in their conversation...there is just pure hopelessness in their hearts.
Many resigned and accepted their current state as their fate. Hearing their stories, I had not much comforting words to offer;I had not experience even half of their predicament. Listening through quietly was probably the best thing to do. We managed to say a prayer for that homeless musician too during our last stop before heading home.

Hopelessness is what they felt.
It struck me then on how funny it is that I felt the same way at times too.
Subtle it may be, but there are mornings you wake up to, just thinking this is just another day to go through and getting the routine over with.

And funny how trivial issues always wound up its way to steal the joy and peace from your heart.

I complained when I had a decent job, I desired a better career instead.
I fumed about how much I have in my bank, and always yearned to earn much more..much much more in fact!
I worried bout my future relationship, fret about not having a nice car or house, complained about all the lacks in me.
I resigned to my situation.Admitting that my problem is too big to overcome.
Just traits of hopelessness
In a way, I am no different with them in viewing life!

Every day counts !
I learned I can either choose to be grateful living a life or I can just survive going through another mundane routine.
There is a choice to make every morning.

And right now, I am just simply grateful I had a nice bed to rest!

Forgive me for not leaning my trust in You.
Guide me and teach me to see things the way You see them.
Mold me to be a blessing to the people I contact with.

Amen


Tze Seong